1.4 Catherine
8:17 PM | Posted by
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I step out of the main doors and down the front steps onto the path leading away from the manor. It is strange how a place can be familiar and foreign at the same time. Like another reality swooped in and took the place of the one I knew.
A stable hand and his wife are walking past as I step out, and look shocked to see me. "Miss Catherine", the stable hand removes his hat and nods to me. His wife digs a sharp elbow into his ribs and corrects him. "LADY Catherine" she says, nodding to me and then staring pointedly at her husband. His face flushes and I hear some mumblings of apologies as his wife drags him away from me and towards the kitchen entrance. They do not even seem to notice my lack of response.
It would seem that I am numb. Even the biting winter breeze cannot touch me and the warmth I felt earlier this morning is a distant memory.
I do not know where I am going, but it does feel better to be outside. This used to be my favorite time of year. The trees are bare and the sky is blue. It is the middle of winter and I can see each exhalation in front of me. I used to enjoy each cold inhalation. But now I feel nothing.
Nothing is ok.
Yes. It is.
The path leads me away from the large buildings around the manor and past the stables. I easily climb over the stone wall that lines the path and wander into an open field. I do not know how long I wander aimlessly, but the small building on the horizon is now suddenly in front of me. Puzzled, I stop to regard the distance I have covered. The sun is as high as it will go in winter. Many daylight hours are left before I am required back at the manor.
I enter the building. I suppose it is a barn, but it is a very well looked after barn considering how far it is from the other buildings. The combination of wet dirt, hay and animal dung lingers in the air. Actually the smell reminds me of my childhood...
A large snort snaps me back to the present moment. How could I have missed her? A large black horse stands in her stall.
"Well hello." I look at her. She looks at me. "What are you doing out here all by yourself?" I find a brush sitting out and pick it up. "Someone must have forgotten you today." No response. Her gaze never wavers.
I approach her with the brush in hand and proceed to follow the routine I remember as a child. Using the step stool nearby, I start at the top of her head and work my way along her left side all the way to her rear. I change sides and repeat the process. I take my time and find it very therapeutic and soothing. Apparently she does as well! I feel privileged to have acquired her trust so quickly and by the end of the process I feel like we are old friends.
"Miss... Um... Lady Catherine! What are you doing all the way out here?" The stable hand I had seen earlier is standing behind me with his mouth open in surprise. I remember now that his name is Ben.
"I was taking a walk and discovered this building. Why is this horse out here all by herself?" The calm spell has snapped and the large black horse seems even larger now that she is agitated.
"Master William bought her... Lady Catherine..." I hold his gaze until he continues. "As a wedding present. For you." Now his words roll out one after another in a panic. "But I do believe it was supposed to be a surprise. For you. Once you were feeling better. And only a few people knew about it. And none of us were supposed to say a word. And if he finds out...."
"Don't worry." I interrupt. "I will tell him I was exploring and discovered the horse myself. After all, that IS what happened. I will tell William that she was very well looked after." Ben's eyes move to the brush in my hand and back to my eyes. His face flushes. I give him a reassuring smile and he seems to relax.
I pat the horse on the top of her head, step down off the stool and place the brush back where I found it. Giving the horse one last scratch on the bridge of her nose, I turn to leave and prepare to head back to the manor. As I step out of the barn, I notice how low the sun is in the sky.
How long have I been in here?
As I take a step to leave, I realize I have one more question for Ben.
"By the way,” I ask. "What is her name?"
"Elpis, Lady Catherine." he says.
Elpis? The Greek Goddess of Hope? Maybe William has a sense of humor after all.
